House, if you truly are a sentient being trying to prevent us from selling you, then please grow an additional 500 square feet before you start falling apart. Really! The chair scratching the Pergo floor was annoying but fairly insignificant, but we really do need that garage door opener. Well, we really need it to open ONLY when we push the button, not randomly at night.
And Murphy, you can get lost and take your law with you.