Tattva1 knits

On my couch or at work

How to “sew shoulder seams” September 13, 2007

Filed under: knitting,reid — Emily @ 10:31 am

Step 1.  Get really excited that you have 40 minutes to yourself to start the process.

Step 2.  Pin shoulders together and be very grateful that you do in fact have the right number of stitches.  Pat yourself on the back for your counting prowess.

Step 3.  Climb on a chair to take a picture.


Step 4.  Start carefully reading directions in Stitch ‘n Bitch.  Don’t like them.  Get Domiknitrix book.  No help either.

Step 5.  Decide to wing something like a mattress stitch.

Step 6.  Work about an inch.  Rip it out because it looks awful.

Step 7.  Try another semi-mattress stitch.

Step 8.  Rip again.

Step 9.  Look at clock.  The 40 minutes are gone.  Quickly lay all the pieces of the cardigan out on the table to see how they’ll look when they are together.

Step 10.  Take a crappy picture.

Distractionary tactic

Step 11.  Leave house to pick up daughter, grumbling to yourself about how you can do all these wonderful amazing things, like Kitchener, and HEEEEEEYYYYY. 

Step 12.  Think about undoing the bind-off and kitchenering or doing a 3 needle bind-off the entire 20 minute drive to pick up daughter.  Bemoan the lack of Internet in the car.

(much later)

Step 13.  Start picking out the bind-off for one of the front pieces.  Piss off husband, who wants to work on the NYTimes Saturday crossword.

Step 14.  Get half the crossword done, hand it to husband with the agreement that if he gets anything else, I will stop unknitting.

Step 15.  Go to bed with slightly cranky husband.  Utter the words that are most likely to get him to stop being mad:  “I’m not wearing underwear.”


2 Responses to “How to “sew shoulder seams””

  1. lisa Says:

    Pretty funny! There’s also the getting under the covers in the buff and letting him discover that…

  2. Kelly Says:

    Hee hee — TMI! (Not that I haven’t tried that myself. Well, with my own husband. But you knew that.)

    The Knitters Book of Finishing Techniques recommends almost a Kitchner-esque finish for a shoulder seam. Just don’t pull it too tightly. Have you checked that out?

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